Friday, July 30, 2010

Obama and Palin - the Best of Both Worlds

Obama and Palin - the Best of Both Worlds

Washington, DC, April 1, 2011. The White House announced that President Barack Obama has appointed former Governor Sarah Palin as "Liaison to the Conservative Community." The White House also appointed professor and "former" radical Bill Ayers "Liaison to Socialists, Progressives, and Other Kooks."

Bill McKibben was briefly considered for the job of "Sustainability Tzar" however Tim Geithner, Larry Sommers, Steven Chu and Ken Salazar persuaded the President that "we don't need a Sustainability Tzar, we need more growth of GDP and unregulated derivatives, and more consumption of fossil fuels coupled with Rube-Goldbergian carbon sequestration technologies, to be invented soon, and nuclear fusion, which is only 50 years away, maybe less."

Quoting Alan Greenspan, they said, "with a syncopatedly integrated interperiodic boom-bust bubble-pop series of macroeconomic cyclical events we will sustain high employment with simultaneous episodic high unemployment, causing elevated productivity and de-elevated wages, giving many people almost enough purchasing power to buy most of the necessities they need to live productively, work their entire lives, creating terrific debt, and give their children all the education they will need, unless they get sick." Obama took two aspirin and sent them away, calling for Palin and George W. Bush, saying, "bring me some real Amaricans I can understand."

Ayers could not be reached for comment. However, we were able to locate him using radio signals from his cell-phone. He is on a hunting trip with Mike Huckabee and Dick Cheney, and is expected to resurface re-educated and working with the Tea Party Movement.

Palin, however, said, "I'm a former 'Weather Girl,' so I can work with a 'Weather Man.' However, I'm not sure I can take the job because 'liaison' is a French word and I make more money egging on, I mean 'speaking to' the Tea Party activists."

Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh, on Fox News and other conservative oriented comedy broadcasting called it "a trick," missing the point that it was "a joke."