If the Election was a Game of Clue

The candidates include:

Senator Hillary Clinton, a woman,
Governor Mitt Romney, a Morman,
Senator Barack Obama, an African-American,
Senator John Edwards, a Trial Lawyer,
Governor Mike Huckabee, a Baptist minister,
Senator John McCain, an aging War Hero,
Mayor Rudy Giuliani, an Italian-American Former Mayor (who's late father and uncle were "connected, you know what I mean?"),
And Senator Fred Thompson, the dead guy.

Strikingly, all the candidates are politicians, and most, if not all, are lawyers. Does this mean they can't be trusted?

Obama, the African-American has the most intelligence and charisma. And judging from the voters the most "Street cred."

Clinton, the woman, has the most powerful husband, a former President. None of the other candidates have a powerful husband, or, in fact, any sort of husband. Giuliani, the Former Mayor, did live with a guy who had a husband. However, since it doesn't relate to 9-11, he doesn't talk about it.

Edwards, the Trial Lawyer, who is worth millions, made his money prosecuting corporate malfeasance and medical malpractice. He has long opposed the war in Iraq. He has been trying to help the veterans and the people of New Orleans that the Federal Government is unwilling or unable to help. His health care plan would provide universal access to health care to all Americans. So it naturally and logically flows that he is derided as a "Socialist" by the news media.

About 30% of registered voters are independent of either party. The remaining 70% are split between the Democrats and the Republicans. Given that the independents tend to vote for Obama, and most of the Democrats are saying "I like Obama, Clinton, and Edwards, but I'll vote for the Democrat, whoever he or she is." it logically follows that if the Democrats were really smart they'd nominate Obama and persue the independents. Course the Democrats are not often really smart.

Still, it helps the Democrats that large blocs of Republicans really don't like the Republican candidates for one reason or another.

The Fundamentalists don't trust Romney, the Morman, Giuliani, the Former Mayor, or McCain, the War Hero. Romney is remembered for campaigning to the left of Ted Kennedy when he ran for Governor, so they don't trust him for reasons having nothing to do with religion. He was Governor of Massachusetts, one of the Bluest of the Blue states, so they don't trust him on that score either. But he's also a Morman who they fear answers to the High Priest of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Guiliani is a divorced Catholic Eye-talian, from New York City, who has openly gay friends and who is currently married to a Jewish woman, a woman from the people everybody loves to hate. McCain is fundamentally honest, for a politician. (Don't you love legalistic qualifiers?). The Fundamentalists never forgave McCain for running against George W Bush in 2000 and losing. They deeply resent the fact that had they not voted for Bush, then McCain would have been the Republican nominee, and with either McCain or Gore in the White House lo these past 8 years they world would be a better place. Rather than blame themselves and search their souls, hearts, and minds, they blame McCain.

The Super-Rich don't like Huckabee, the Baptist Minister or McCain. Huckabee, however, is smarter than he looks. He's got that Southern "I'm just a devout country boy" charm. But he's as dumb as Bill Clinton. Unfortunately he's not as smart as Bill Clinton. His tax plan - eliminate the Income tax and just tax stuff when it's sold is regressive. It's good for people with high income, really good for people who live off dividends and trust funds, and not good for people who buy stuff like clothes, food, cars, other goods, and services.

The voters don't like the Giuliani the Former Mayor. They view him as a pompous ass, a bad judge of character, a demigog, who trusts you if you tell him how smart, brave and wonderful he is. He was on the streets of New York City on Sept 11, 12, and 13. However, that was because his office was destroyed on 911. He quit the 911 Commission to go "on tour" spinning about his role after 911 (but not mentioning why his office was destroyed - and it was destroyed because it was in the World Trade Center - and whose bright idea it was to put it there - a fellow named Rudy Giuliani, who bears a striking resemblance to Rudy Giuliani, the Candidate).

Most of the Jewish Republicans don't like Giuliani. If Jewish Republicans know anything about race in America, it's that other white people hate Jews more than they hate 'Schwartzas' and that black people mask their anger at white people into hatred of Jewish people. These Jewish Republicans - all 9 of them - are now saying that Giuliani lost Iowa and New Hampshire, not because he didn't campaign, not because of his demonstrated bad judgment in Bernie Keric, not because he put New York City's Emergency Response HQ in the World Trade Center, but because his wife is Jewish. These people disprove the stereotype that Jews are smart.

This "pundit" sees the Democrats running the Woman or the African American, and the GOP running the Morman, the Minister, or the War Hero, that is Clinton, Obama, Romney, Huckabee, or McCain, and the Independents swinging the election to the Democrat. It could be a Clinton or Obama as President and Obama or Edwards as Vice President. I don't see Clinton taking the VP office. In her mind she's "Been there done that" for the 8 years when her husband was President and that global warming maven was V. P.

This "pundit" also sees Nancy Pelosi or Barbara Boxer as the first or second woman President, but only after serving as Governor of California, so we're looking at 2016 or 2020, or 2024.

It may boil down to this: who is better at motivating women - Bill Clinton or Oprah Winfrey.

So happy New Year. And next year it may be Happy Blue Year.