Brittney, LiLo, Snookie, Ann, Sarah, and W.

Brittney Spears, like Lindsay Lohan, really cares about America, and humanity, particularly young women, young girls - their fan bases. Like Nicole "Snookie" Polozzi their "antics" are a carefully thought out existential drama designed to show girls and young women, their mothers, fathers and brothers, especially those in lower socio-economic strata - all of us - that wealth doesn't buy happiness, that no matter how much money you have, you still have to wrestle with intoxicants, people who don't want to share, men who treat you as sex objects . . . . How else do you explain Brittney's famous act of performance art in emerging from a cab in a short skirt hiked up to her waist, with her panties carefully concealed?

Like other visionary women, they are misunderstood. Ann Coulter - at first glance you would think she personally hates Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Meghan McCain. However, if you look beneath the surface you might find a coke-whore who secretly wants to have Bill's baby, McCain's baby, or Hillary's baby, but knowing this is impossible, masks her tragedy in addiction, anger, and best selling rants and diatribes.

Or Sarah Palin. The former Governor who earned $13 Million in speaking fees may be the barely educated former governor of a state who's population is about the same as Monmouth County, New Jersey, or Bensonhurst, Sheepshead Bay, and Coney Island, Brooklyn. She may be the former mayor of a town with a population about the size of an apartment building in the Bronx or on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. But she challenges our assumptions about what it means to be coherent. She recently said "those protesters in Egypt, I don't know if they are telling the truth." While I realize she said that while walking AND chewing gum, what are the protesters saying? They seem to be saying "We want Mubarek out of office." But that phrase is so wrought with ambiguity - do they want to take him out for drinks? (Well, not the Moslem Brotherhood). How about a nice lunch of roasted lamb with rice and tea? Maybe they want him out of his office so they can paint it? Regardless, she challenges our assumption that the office of the President of the United States should be held by someone who can think deeply, and make decisions based on rational assessment of the facts and scientifically observable data. After all, W held it for 8 years, 8 long years during which we lurched from one catastrophic decision to the next as if passengers in a bus driven by a nearsighted drunk on magic mushrooms. How hard can it be?